no one listens to me

Things that kept me up at night - A Business Owners blog.

I do feel honoured and privileged to be able to lead my team.  I have never been someone that thought that I wanted to own a business because I wanted to be the boss or my own boss, I always knew that I would be answering to a lot of people (my staff).  I always thought I had a natural ability to lead, that I was able to influence and that I was nailing my business in this area.  On reflection I am a huge people pleaser with an intense fear of letting people down, upsetting the apple cart and I’m just going to say it – getting a personal grievance.

So, in fact I had very few leadership skills and a flimsy vision and plan around the kind of leader I wanted to b inclusing the rituals that would support that kind of leadership.  I also didn’t really understand how closely linked personal development and leadership success were.

My team were only ever going to grow as much as I was willing to grow.  In the beginning, I’d just spent a fortune on coffee for my team, host intermittent team dinners and was far too flexible and lenient in my approach to things that mattered such as results in my business, complaints from clients and behaviour that was not aligned to our business goals.

I see now, this was not leadership.  The journey to leadership success was a process for me, as all good change in business is.  In this process I learned a lot (unfortunately often through suffering the consequences of my lack of knowledge).  My biggest wins and growth in leadership have been the implementation of rituals and systems in the business that ensured that the whole team was rowing in the same direction at all times, if ever anyone is left behind or falling short, these processes picked them up quickly, rather than allowing them to drown. 

It has been key in building our award-winning culture that has spanned the test of time. I’ve also found that people love structure.  Even the ones who push against it initially come to thrive in an environment that is predictable, non-chaotic and transparent.  We have built team profiles to avoid the predicament of non-compliance which has ensured I remain close to my team without having to spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure them out. This has given me tremendous freedom from fear and overthinking. 

Our meetings allow me to keep my finger on the pulse even though I no longer work in my business and have a leadership team who take the team through them. 

What my Coach has to say about this

So many business owners feel like their team will not listen to them. They do not make the connection that leadership is the key. So, what is leadership? 

Firstly, it is influence, it is not position. Just because someone has the position of leadership (including the person who owns the business) does not mean they are the leader.  Whoever has the influence is really leading the team. It’s the person everyone looks to see if what you as the owner say will be accepted and how it will be implemented. It’s the person that everyone in the team will stop and listen to whether it is negative or positive. You may have had this experience in a team.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it can be so damaging – depending who is holds the influence.

Another reason that business owners feel that their team doesn’t listen to them is because the owner is working to be everyone’s friend because they do not want to be like a ‘bad boss’ they once had or they are fundamentally a people pleaser.  Unfortunately, this type of leadership is not sustainable.

Getting your team to listen comes from establishing a structure that the environment can work through. Then implementing your structure so all the people that are part of working in, for, with and around your business know how to be, what to do and where you are going. It is called the Business Critical Alignment Model (Environment – Structure – Implementation – People) and yes in this order is necessary and ideal.

There is a lot of work in this, but it is work that is worthwhile, creates a sustainable and scalable business and can free you up to work on the business.  Furthermore, anything that takes work, takes growth. You cannot take someone where you have not been yourself. Leadership is an inner journey of growth and if you want your team to grow, you must grow first.  Grow within yourself, as a leader and as a business owner.